Brave not Fearless

Written by parishioner, Flora Torra

WE ARE CALLED to be brave, not to be fearless!

During these trying times we must call on creative measures… (some say drastic measures); ok, drastic measures.

Let us redefine creativity; and I am paraphrasing Elizabeth Gilbert (writer of Eat, Pray, Love, and many other books, but especially Big Magic) and her inspiring words that reached my heart and soul today. She defines ‘creativity’ as the creative impulse and we as co-creating with the universe.

She is not referring necessarily to the person who is an artist or painter or musician or entertainer. It is a person that is tuned into their creative impulses; aligned with their creator. And she adds, that this curiosity and willingness to listen to our impulses helps us not fall into various forms of helplessness, nervousness, etc. It is the opposite of fear. We cannot be curious and afraid at the same time.

She calls us to be “brave”; not to be fearless. She makes a big distinction between the two; and most importantly, that we are called to face our fears — to sense our fears, to accept them, to feel them; and then; to be Brave. I am adding, to EMBODY our living reality, our experience, our fears. Fear needs us to listen and to be heard; however, we don’t need to necessarily act on it. Fear needs a voice and a listening ear, it needs a sensing body and a feeling heart. It does not need to make our decisions or rule our lives.

I guess, if anything, at this time, I want to convey to you and your children that we are scared, and we are sensing difficult times, and we are feeling nervous at times, AND yet, we can be brave in this world.

We can share stories with our children of times when we were brave and how that felt. And that the outcome wasn’t necessary for us to know, but it was the process or the experience of being brave that was the ultimate reward. We have all been brave at different times in our lives.

This is a time of sharing stories; perhaps we can take turns each night sharing a story at the dinner table. This is a time of visiting neighbors and seeing if they need anything. This is a time of taking out old games and toys that the kids haven’t played with in a long time. This is a time of coloring, drawing, writing ( set a kitchen timer and everybody writes for 40 minutes), playing an instrument, making crafts, making collages with old magazines, learning/doing origami, working on a puzzle, building with legos, etc.

This is a time of letting the creative juices flow and instill in our children that in a time of calamity, we can be relentless about finding our way and finding gratefulness and joy, regardless of what is going on.

If you need assistance especially if the feelings are overwhelming at times, please seek a friend or a confidant to be with you or you can consult with me with a counseling session or via a video conference.

Call today for a phone Free Consult or video conference session
Flora M. Torra, Ed.S., Child/Teen Psychologist


"I want to engage children and parents in their own psychological growth
and to develop inner resources so they can become more grounded, centered and empathic".